Withdrawers in relationship are steeled against the three waves that come for them… first, they do it wrong for their pursuing partner, next it’s their fault for withdrawing and third, they really are nothing after all.  Can you see why it makes sense not to engage? If all you get when you engage with your partner is ultimately the knowledge about being not good enough, maybe unloveable – it’s soo much better to stay distant.  Laurie and George talk about the different strategies that withdrawers use to stay as far away from failing as they can.