Joe Davis – Announcer [00:00:00]:

The following content is not suitable for children.

George Faller [00:00:02]:

It’s that time of year again, valentine’s Day, where the heart, the body, the mind, the spirit, the soul all come together. Laurie, let’s spice it up. How do we help our listeners make the most of this day?

Laurie Watson [00:00:17]:

Oh, yeah. Let’s do some naughty and nice ideas.

George Faller [00:00:20]:

Naughty and nice. OOH, that just mixtures. Get me nice and nice you.

Speaker Ads [00:00:26]:

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Laurie Watson [00:00:56]:

Welcome to foreplay sex therapy. I’m Dr. Laurie Watson, your sex therapist.

George Faller [00:01:01]:

And I’m George Faller, your couple’s therapist.

Laurie Watson [00:01:03]:

We are here to talk about sex.

George Faller [00:01:05]:

Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body, their mind, and their hearts.

Laurie Watson [00:01:13]:

And we have a little bit of fun doing it.

George Faller [00:01:15]:

Right, g. Listen and let’s change some relationships.

Laurie Watson [00:01:19]:

Hey, don’t forget to check out Uberlube.com with the coupon foreplay. It really helps us to support the podcast and keep delivering free content. Thanks so much.

George Faller [00:01:28]:

All right, so what do you think this is again? Be intentional, everyone. This is the day, a year we’re going to prioritize our relationship. That bond great sex. This is the day to think about it, not put a ton of pressure on. But this is the time to try new moves.

Laurie Watson [00:01:42]:

Yeah, exactly. So some people dismiss Valentine’s Day. Please don’t do that. It’s just the whole world of celebrating. Why miss an opportunity to celebrate love and sex, right? Such a good time.

George Faller [00:01:56]:

You don’t have to get caught up in the commercialism if you don’t like it. You could do your own routine and ritual, but just to be that intentional. That’s why I like it.

Laurie Watson [00:02:04]:

Yeah. And I’ve looked at coupons that a lot of them are on Etsy. They’re on Amazon. You can make up your own of fun things that you might want to do, and I thought I would share a little bit of what I’m seeing.

George Faller [00:02:17]:

Nice.

Laurie Watson [00:02:18]:

So let’s say a sexy coupon would be how about doing a roleplay fantasy or a strip tease? All right, how would those go over, you think?

George Faller [00:02:30]:

Sounds good to me. And again, so often couples fall into a routine, and it’s nice to have routine sex, too, but to mix it up and bring in some new energy, right, that role play. Be somebody else or talk about that fantasy, that stripped ease. I mean, it’s just bringing in that good spiciness.

Laurie Watson [00:02:51]:

I think if there were ever a day to spice it up, that is Valentine’s Day for sure. And what if you sort of want it to be romantic too we looked up some of those coupons as well. Right. Gee.

George Faller [00:03:05]:

Laurie always talks about the going away together that night away at a hotel. I think so many couples, I mean, started off with the card writing. Me and my wife do that all the time on Valentine’s Day. Like, just reflect about the year, how much you matter to each other, the things you’re proud of, the things you’re working on. But just to take that time to think about another year, you’re with your partner, to recognize that, to appreciate that, to celebrate the victories, and to honor the struggles. I mean, I think that really is a good way of priming. I mean, so many of us just go buy a card. I always crack up when I go to the I always wait the same day or the day before. You see all the men there online getting cards, and you’re pushing each other, trying to got to get that card, and it’s like you just underline a couple of words and write love me, and you send it. And that’s nice, but if you could do a little bit more and just kind of add to that card, write something personal from you. I just think those personal words. It’s like using your partner’s name. It’s nice to be called babe and sweetheart, but when you can say, hey, Laurie, like, you just say the person’s name, you write something personal. We feel more seen, and we know that’s a big turn on, being, you.

Laurie Watson [00:04:23]:

Know, you do such a good job of that. I think just I’ve seen that in you. You do say names when you’re talking. You often say my name. I’ve heard you say that to other people when we’ve been in just us as couples or whatever. You use my husband’s name, you use your wife’s name. That really is an attention getter. So I think I tend more toward honey and sweetie or not sweetie, but sweetheart or something. Yeah, I think that’s a good tip. And I love what you’re saying, writing something personal about a reflection of maybe the good and the bad of what’s going on.

George Faller [00:04:59]:

Yeah. And this is the day to mix it up. So if you always call your partner’s name mary, Mary, mary. Oh, mix it up. Call a baby tonight and see what it’s like about. If you call a baby all the time, use her name. We’re going for it. This is a day of new moves.

Laurie Watson [00:05:13]:

Okay, a new move. Here’s a romantic couple of ideas. How about just having a regular adventure that is not necessarily a sexual adventure? Like a road trip. My husband loves road trips. Give him some road trip, and he’d be happy. He likes to drive. He loves going places or skinny dipping or a hike somewhere. Skinny dipping. That is kind of sexy. That’s a sexy adventure.

George Faller [00:05:43]:

I’m a big fan of a new place on Valentine’s Day, someplace different. You want to do it in the basement. You never go down there. You want to go in the closet. You want to go in the shower. Like something different again. This is a spice up day. Most of life, you don’t have time for this, and it’s not realistic, and it’s not so comfortable. But there’s something about a new place that I think can bring a good dose of excitement.

Laurie Watson [00:06:08]:

Okay, so what’s the spiciest place? You’ve done it on Valentine’s Day?

George Faller [00:06:13]:

I haven’t been too spicy. I’m trying to plant seeds for my future, not my past here. How about you?

Laurie Watson [00:06:23]:

I’m not sure I can say that on air.

George Faller [00:06:27]:

I think our listeners can keep a secret.

Laurie Watson [00:06:30]:

Yeah, they’re going to keep this secret for sure. So another romantic idea is breakfast in bed. I think that is so romantic to somebody. Bring in a tray, and you get to sit there and be lazy. Drink your coffee in bed and talk to your partner. I wouldn’t want to have breakfast in bed alone, but just talking together, that’d be so fun.

George Faller [00:06:53]:

Nice way of starting off today.

Laurie Watson [00:06:55]:

Exactly.

George Faller [00:06:56]:

Maybe you want to hire a chef. I think food is a great idea. Having chocolates or strawberries or whatever. You’re kind of nipple clamps with nipple clamps and whatever playful things we can do. Well, I think we should. A little warning here. A lot of times, one person’s suggestion is a little outside the comfort zone for the other person. Right. Just to see that’s the set up of these conversations, that’s okay. Try to have some fun with these conversations. If I want to do it outside in public, that might never be an.

Laurie Watson [00:07:28]:

Option for wait, that was a coupon coming up. You got ahead of me. Quickie in public.

George Faller [00:07:33]:

Quickie in public again. If one wants it and the other doesn’t, that’s okay. You can still share the fantasy of it. You can still have fun with it. All right. You don’t want to do it outside in the car. The neighbors might see it. All right, let’s just talk about what that would be like. You could always do the fantasy. If these don’t turn into real experiences, we could always shift it to the fantasy.

Laurie Watson [00:07:55]:

Right? Yeah. And you were talking about food, and so one other idea is naked Chef. Naked Chef cooking dinner naked together. I think my fantasy is me vacuuming naked.

George Faller [00:08:09]:

All right.

Laurie Watson [00:08:11]:

I think you must have seen that somewhere fun. Okay.

George Faller [00:08:16]:

I like that.

Laurie Watson [00:08:17]:

Naked Chef.

George Faller [00:08:18]:

Just too many good ideas getting thrown out here. Yeah, well, we also for couples again, if it’s appropriate for them watching an erotic movie, reading erotic novel, kind of just introducing a scene. That is something that you could share together.

Laurie Watson [00:08:37]:

Right. You’re kind of borrowing an idea. Right. We know that there’s issues with watching porn, and people get tangled up in that. But you’re talking about how can we maybe share with somebody, hey, this looks really exciting to me. Or you read it to them. This idea is really exciting.

George Faller [00:08:57]:

It’s a pretty big turn on when you’re laying in bed reading a novel and both people getting turned on by kind of what’s going to happen next? What does she do? What does he do? And just do that together so often this is isolated. People do this in isolation. Doing it together. Is that a new move?

Laurie Watson [00:09:17]:

That’d be great. Here’s another sexy one. Tie me up.

George Faller [00:09:21]:

Okay.

Laurie Watson [00:09:22]:

Little bit of kink on Valentine’s Day.

George Faller [00:09:24]:

Little bit of kink, a little bit of surrendering, stretching yourself. There’s also a lot of sex games out there. Naked know, asking each other kind of question. I mean, there’s so many you go on Amazon, you just do sex games, and there’s like a thousand things come up. But again, it’s just to have a little bit more fun and playfulness in this day.

Laurie Watson [00:09:45]:

I’m going to go on Amazon right now. Sex games.

George Faller [00:09:49]:

Sex games.

Laurie Watson [00:09:50]:

Golly. And I just looked at sex coupons and oh my gosh, let’s get Deep Spice it up. There’s lots of fun things. Another really romantic thing that we can suggest because we’ve been advertising it, but we believe in it because it’s such a great system, it’s building a lasting connection. And this is from one of our EFT friends and colleagues. It’s a really great way to spend some intentional time having conversation, learning to speak from that more vulnerable place. I would definitely highly recommend you getting this. It’s on our website. And you can also get it Buildingalastingconnection.com the Couple Connection system. Dashes, in between those words, I would.

George Faller [00:10:36]:

Throw a couple more resources. Certainly. Sue Johnson, our mentor, has Hold Me Tight, and she just came out with the workbook Hold Me Tight for couples. Again, great time to intentionally think about your relationship. Esther Perel has this game of where should we begin? A game of stories. Just helping couples talk about this stuff. Cards. I mean, again, there’s just these fun, playful things out there that just are just helping couples be more intentional. A lot of times it’s weird, like we don’t know what to talk about, how to bring it up. So just read a card and it will just force you to start talking about things you probably never talked about.

Laurie Watson [00:11:09]:

Yeah, exactly. Those are beautiful resources.

George Faller [00:11:13]:

Some couples write sexting bringing technology into it. Maybe they go in different rooms and do some kind of flirting on the texting or the sexting. Or maybe they do something on the video. Who knows?

Laurie Watson [00:11:26]:

Oh, video. Yeah, video. Sexting and sexy pictures for your partner too. That would be exciting.

George Faller [00:11:34]:

You’re taking the strip tease to the next level.

Laurie Watson [00:11:37]:

Okay, let’s think up some more things for people. Read some more naughty and nice ways to spice up Valentine’s Day when we come back. So, George, I did a test with for you, and I gave some of the samples to all my girlfriends just to see what the deal would be and how they reviewed it, as well as myself. And we got the thumbs up. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah, a lot’s.

George Faller [00:12:05]:

Pretty cool to hear. Lori, imagine the best orgasm you ever had and you increase it even more.

Laurie Watson [00:12:12]:

It really does give you access to bigger and better orgasms with yourself or with a partner. Foyer uses all natural plant based ingredients to intensify sexual pleasure, relieve any discomfort. And there’s like a serious cult following, I imagine. So, like, tens of thousands of people are using this.

George Faller [00:12:28]:

And Laurie’s leading the cult for you’s.

Laurie Watson [00:12:31]:

Bestseller Awaken Arousal oil is the ultimate pleasure pregame. It uses CBD oil, and it’s kind of like a warming sort of a bit of sensation from organic botanicals that enhance arousal, sensitivity, pleasure, and access to orgasms, which is cool. It also helps with any discomfort. So that’s good as well. So, yes, you have my permission to try this.

George Faller [00:12:58]:

Fully endorse this product to treat yourself to the best orgasms possible. Go to Fourier foria Wellness.com Foreplay to get your 20% off. That first order. We highly recommend it for you.

Laurie Watson [00:13:13]:

Wellness.com Foreplay.

George Faller [00:13:17]:

Lori cozy Earth’s best selling bamboo sheets. Let’s do it.

Laurie Watson [00:13:22]:

They are so silky. I love them. It’s like they’re slippery and soft and truly, truly soft. And I’m totally into sheets, so I love these. They’re kind of luxury because they have that slick look and feel. And I think for Valentine’s Day, this would be a good purchase. Please think about cozyearth.com. With the Code Foreplay, you get 35% off, which really makes these more affordable. And for luxury sheets, the 35% off for our listeners really puts them in range of a really nice high end sheet. I love them.

George Faller [00:13:59]:

Cozy Earth’s Bedding collection offers a variety of luxury pillows, sheets, blankets, and much more this year time of year to score some points, a subtle little new sheets. What do you think? I think that’s a great idea, Lori.

Laurie Watson [00:14:13]:

I think so, too.

George Faller [00:14:14]:

And don’t forget, listeners, cozy Earth provided exclusive offer today for our listeners. 35% off when you use the Code Foreplay.

Laurie Watson [00:14:23]:

Cozyearth.com.

George Faller [00:14:31]:

Let’s keep this momentum going, Lori. I’m excited here as we’re just thinking about new things, bringing in fun into this day. You know, this fun that’s going to carry over the rest of the year. This is the new move. We’re going to call this the New Moves kind of podcast.

Laurie Watson [00:14:46]:

Exactly. New moves. And we’ve had people who sponsor us who really are committed to great sex. And for you, I mean, an awesome way to have a better orgasm.

George Faller [00:14:59]:

Does it have the CBD oil in it?

Laurie Watson [00:15:02]:

Yeah, it has CBD oil in you know, you asked me, George, should you put it on your clitoris or in your vagina? And I think I said your clitoris would be great, but actually it’s absorbed in the vagina better. So do that one. It’s fourness.com slash foreplay. So use that to check them out. Their awaken and arousal oil, both of them. Really great. You know, I love cozyearth, cozyearth.com. Those sheets, I swear to you, are the softest things I’ve ever felt in my life. I love that. Kind of slippery. So you kind of slide all over when you’re having sex. That’s fun.

George Faller [00:15:38]:

And how cool. I mean, we’re not trying to make an infomercial here. We got some good sponsors that are trying to bring in some spice it up. So this is the perfect day to kind of support that, to support doing something a bit different in your relationship. Even as you’re talking about oils, I mean, massages. How cool is that for couples to take some time from their day to just kind of give that deep massage, bust out the oils, the candles, the music, the food blindfold. I mean, all these senses. This is the time to do, you know, the swing in your room. If you’re going to do it, today’s.

Laurie Watson [00:16:18]:

The day the pole in your room go for.

George Faller [00:16:21]:

Also, when I think about it, Lori being more intentional, being more intentional during the sex act itself. This is the time to think about new positions. What have you not tried? We talk about Edging, right? Is that something you’ve done? Other episodes, squirting. I mean, there’s so many things out there that couples can try and if they don’t accomplish it, talk about it.

Laurie Watson [00:16:47]:

Here’s a coupon. We can practice squirting. That would be great.

George Faller [00:16:53]:

Oh, my God. Yes. Right? That’s the edging. It’s so cool to watch a video that this is how you do it. Try this different position. Your hips got to be up. There’s so many little things that I think can again, even if it don’t.

Laurie Watson [00:17:07]:

Work say that again. Your hips got to be up.

George Faller [00:17:09]:

I didn’t realize that one. Very good missionary style. You throw the lady’s hips up a little bit on a pillow and it could change the angle and how they experience it. Like, why not try it? If it doesn’t work, that’s cool. Just say it. I didn’t like that. But it’s the effort, I think, that allows couples to have more playfulness. Sometimes couples will describe just laughing at failures. It’s like, we thought that was going to be great, that fantasy, but it really flopped. And we both fell into bed laughing together. Like, isn’t that a great Valentine’s Day?

Laurie Watson [00:17:40]:

Yeah, exactly. And I just want to throw one more sponsor out there in gratitude. It’s Dame. Right? Dameproducts.com. And with the coupon foreplay. And they do have two really great toys. One of them is Eva, which is the couple’s toy. You kind of put it between your bodies when you’re having an intercourse. And it stimulates her clitoris and also air, which is kind of like a clitoral sucking device. And it can produce pretty good orgasm. We do want to give credit where people have helped us and things that we believe in, and we have tried and so cool stuff. We’re heavy on the sex here. We’re not as focused on the romance. Can we give some romantic ideas here, too?

George Faller [00:18:23]:

Sure. Well, being intentional, sure.

Laurie Watson [00:18:27]:

He says, disappointedly.

George Faller [00:18:29]:

It is fun to throw out all the novelty.

Laurie Watson [00:18:35]:

I want to.

George Faller [00:18:37]:

This isn’t about the balance is novelty is great, especially in the foundation of a strong, safe emotional attachment. So we got to do our work in that department to really and this is the best day to really set aside that time to remind each other how important your emotional bond is. You wouldn’t be there without each other. You’re part of something bigger than yourself. How do couples really kind of do that? They redo their vowels on this day. They watch their wedding video. They go to a movie together. They have dinner together. You said breakfast in bed. There’s so many ways, but I’m less concerned about how we get there. I just care that we get there, that you look your partner in your eyes and you feed that emotional bond, which is the glue of the couple.

Laurie Watson [00:19:30]:

Exactly. Those are great ideas. Those are beautiful ideas. Watch your wedding video. Mine was interminable. It was like the longest service of your life. We watched it and we were both like, oh, these poor people had to sit through this. It was like 16 songs and a million prayers. And they tied it tight, though. They tied that not tight for us, but yeah, no, that’s lovely. We actually showed our kids that one time, too.

George Faller [00:19:59]:

And that’s important, too, that your family is the most important. And so to do something with the kids, to bring them into showing them role modeling to them your bond. I always love that when I see parents being affectionate in front of the kids. It sends such healthy vibes to the kids. Sit down at dinner and tell each other how much you love each other in front of the kids. What a lesson that would be for the kids to see it and for you to remind each other of how lucky you are.

Laurie Watson [00:20:30]:

Yeah. Make the kids go, OOH, stop. That’s awful gross. Make them say that on Valentine’s Day for each other.

George Faller [00:20:38]:

I love couples who just take a walk. It’s that intentionality. It’s writing a note. It’s the card. Some people will do little videos as a surprise. Just how much you mean to me. And the message is actually them speaking onto the video.

Laurie Watson [00:20:55]:

Nice. Scavenger hunts all over the house. It doesn’t have to cost money. Like you just one note after another that is affirming of your love and feelings of romance and connection with each other.

George Faller [00:21:08]:

Yeah, a lot of couples.

Laurie Watson [00:21:09]:

But then you got to land in bed, right? With the hand.

George Faller [00:21:13]:

We’re always going to get back to the bed, but also feeding that spiritual side. Go into your church or mosque or synagogue to put your relationship in a bigger picture, that this is a gift of God, that this is something that is bigger than just the two of you. I think it’s that sense of gratitude and thankfulness that so often again cements a foundation to kind of recognize you’re with your person who you were supposed to be with. And this is sacrament. This is something beautiful. When couples really take the time to kind of these vows that we take that we just race through like sit a moment and think about what you’re saying, allow that to faller onto your body, to depth to us part. What does that even mean? Can you sit there with your partner and talk about that? Look at what you’ve been through together. Look at the adversity you’ve overcome. Right. To take a moment to celebrate that. Have gratitude for each other, gratitude for God. I mean, again, I think that’s just so good.

Laurie Watson [00:22:15]:

That is a lovely idea. I keep a gratitude journal and I think what I’ll do is I write in there a lot of things that I’m grateful for, for my husband and the things that he does for me, how I feel about him. I think I’m going to clip them all out and put them in the card. These are all the things I’ve collected of how I’m grateful for you. That would be a great idea. Romantic. And he likes romantic stuff.

George Faller [00:22:42]:

Well then it’s thinking about what the other person needs too. That’s why the gifts are those love languages, being able to your husband likes taking pictures so you go set up a picture taking thing for him. My wife wants to learn how to dance and you do some dance lessons. I mean, there’s so many cool things.

Laurie Watson [00:22:59]:

Like that that oh, nice.

George Faller [00:23:01]:

Are very different.

Laurie Watson [00:23:02]:

Are you really taking dance lessons? I’m very impressed.

George Faller [00:23:06]:

We haven’t scheduled the actual date yet, but it’s on the list.

Laurie Watson [00:23:10]:

George, let me advise you to take a few private ones yourself first so that you are not 4ft and then you can be suaved buddy. I think, I swear. Dance lessons are the thing if your husband can dance with you or if the man can dance. I mean it is so sexy. Truly, truly. It will pay off, I promise you.

George Faller [00:23:37]:

Nice.

Laurie Watson [00:23:38]:

All the anxiety about it and partner dancing, it’s like a pattern so you don’t even have to get through inhibition. I suppose there’s some angst about going and not being good at it in the beginning.

George Faller [00:23:53]:

Yeah. And even if you’re not good at it, the two of you could slow dance in your bedroom together. It’s a nice way of kind of priming those hearts of just saying hey, come here for a second.

Laurie Watson [00:24:02]:

Absolutely.

George Faller [00:24:02]:

You put a song on, you just grab your partner and again it’s the bodies kind of reminding each other we are more here than just that orgasm. What we have here is before, during and after. And that’s what Valentine’s Day really is about. It’s so much more than just that orgasm.

Laurie Watson [00:24:22]:

These are good ideas. I love many of these.

George Faller [00:24:26]:

And we welcome our listeners to send us new ideas and next year we’ll throw them out there. And it’s endless, the possibilities, but it’s really the intentionality. And I know a lot of people get resentful because of the commercialization of Valentine’s Day. Just something else. It becomes another stressor, another kind of pressure, but really kind of shake that aside and say, wait a second, this is our chance to slow down life and to recommit to each other and to remind each other of why we’re doing this. It’s the point of this whole damn life is to be in relationship, to love. And that’s exactly this is a day of love. So how could we be remiss as podcasts on sex that if we didn’t take a time and say, listen, love? Well, today people get out there.

Laurie Watson [00:25:15]:

Yeah, spice it up, romance it up. A little naughty, a little nice. And Happy Valentine’s Day.

George Faller [00:25:21]:

Keep it hot, y’all. Quick shout out to Rebecca Jorgensen and her new exciting game to help couples.

Laurie Watson [00:25:29]:

You can find it on buildingalastingconnection.com the couple connection system. But if you get to the website, you’re going to find this. This is really a cool thing that we want you to take advantage of because it’s very reasonably priced and it basically takes principles of attachment and how you connect, how you can communicate better. It gives you communication starters, conversation starters. It is really a fun thing. We’re using it at our party this weekend for our therapists. We’re going to introduce it to them. It is also a physical thing because it has a mat that you kind of walk around and do these exercises with. The mat assists you to kind of stay focused with each other and grounded because you’re facing each other and you’re moving through this, which we all know, right? Our bodies and our emotions are connected.

George Faller [00:26:18]:

So it’s beautiful, resource, good stuff, highly recommend it. Check it out.

Laurie Watson [00:26:22]:

That’s buildingalastingconnection.com couple connection system.

Joe Davis – Announcer [00:26:28]:

Call in your questions to the Foreplay question voicemail dial eight three three my foreplay. That’s eight three three my. The number four play and we’ll use the questions for our mailbag episodes. All content is for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for therapy by a licensed clinician or as medical advice from a doctor. This podcast is copyrighted by Foreplay Media.

Speaker Ads [00:26:53]:

Hey, guys. I’m Natalie Pouche, and I’m the host of your new favorite podcast, humble and Hungry. It’s time to grab your cheese board and your favorite bottle of wine because we’re having a girls night and we’re about to embark on a whole new journey as we juggle motherhood and blindly navigating through our 30s. We’re talking life, drama, dating and everything in between. I recommend listening to Humble and Hungry on the Iheart app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your Podcasts.