Transcript

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George Faller [00:01:34]:
The following content is not suitable for children. Men, listen up. We’re going to talk about making better orgasm. What do you think, Laurie?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:01:44]:
I think this is great. Welcome to Foreplay sex therapy. I’m Dr. Laurie Watson, your sex therapist.

George Faller [00:01:53]:
And I’m George Faller, your couples therapist.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:01:55]:
We are here to talk about sex.

George Faller [00:01:57]:
Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body, their mind, and their hearts.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:02:05]:
And we have a little bit of fun doing it right G?

George Faller [00:02:09]:
Listen, and let’s change some relationships. All right. Well, Laurie, how are you enjoying the Olympics here?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:02:14]:
Oh, my gosh, I love it. I was a gymnast when I was young and I just. I’ve been eating it all up so great.

George Faller [00:02:23]:
I was a pole vault when I was younger.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:02:25]:
Sure you were. Did you get hung up on the bar?

George Faller [00:02:30]:
Hey, listen, these things happen, you know. That was pretty hilarious.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:02:35]:
That was pretty hilarious. I really appreciated that the pole vaulter had a sense of humor. About the whole thing.

George Faller [00:02:41]:
Well, let’s. For people who haven’t seen that, the pole vaulters, you know, trying to win the gold, and he’s kind of launching himself in the air, just. He’s going to make it perfectly over that bar, you know, and his package gets in a way and knocks the bar off. Right.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:02:59]:
Men are so afraid they’re too small in this guy.

George Faller [00:03:03]:
Too big. What did he say afterwards?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:03:06]:
He said, yeah, it was a big disappointment. There were like Twitter tweets and stuff. Women saying, hey, you know, you know, have you been a pole vaulter in your past? Just like all kinds of riffs on this. It was so funny. But we appreciate him. I. I really appreciated his sense of humor and his grace and perhaps, you know, other women appreciate other things.

George Faller [00:03:33]:
It’s all relative, right, Laurie?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:03:35]:
I guess.

George Faller [00:03:38]:
That was a. A good moment to lose and have that grace, right?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:03:44]:
Yep. He won some fame.

George Faller [00:03:46]:
However, I would have taken a gold, but what the hell.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:03:52]:
Well, we want to help men today, you know, make their orgasms better and maybe multiple. Have multiple orgasms. Although, you know, there. There’s kind of this. For men, you know, physiologically, there’s this reset time. They can’t necessarily go again. Depends on their age and, and things like that. But we call it a refractory period.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:04:13]:
And most men need about at least 30 minutes. And some men maybe need the night before they go again.

George Faller [00:04:21]:
Listen, that’s, you know, we get sleepy after the first one. Why we need a second one. A whole half hour. I don’t know about that, but I’m excited. Lori found us an article that we’re going to kind of give us some suggestions, man. On how to. How to make for better orgasms.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:04:37]:
Yeah. And we’re appreciative to Dr. Den on Pulse, the magazine Pulse Online. We will link this on our site. And he just did a review and we thought, you know, these. This is really a good organization of things that we want to talk about. So. Okay.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:04:53]:
How to make it better.

George Faller [00:04:55]:
How to make it better.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:04:56]:
Yeah. So first thing is touch the taint. Do you know what the taint is, George?

George Faller [00:05:04]:
I do.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:05:06]:
Tell us.

George Faller [00:05:06]:
I’m not going to talk about it. I’m listening. I’m just a participant out of this one. I’m going to see what I want to engage with and not here. I’m just looking at this list now.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:05:17]:
I think this is the shy part of George.

George Faller [00:05:21]:
I grew up in a family that didn’t talk about sex. So, you know, especially below the balls areas.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:05:30]:
Is off limits.

George Faller [00:05:32]:
Not off limits again.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:05:33]:
It tain’t talked about it. Taint talked about. Right.

George Faller [00:05:36]:
Well, this is where Laurie and the physiology kind of teaches is helpful. You know, I didn’t realize that that area, the body has so many, you know, receptive, sensitive. What. What do they call that again?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:05:50]:
Erogenous. Sounds kind of right.

George Faller [00:05:52]:
But there’s something about the number of nerve cells you call nerve endings and in that area that’s, you know, no wonder why a lot of men enjoy, you know, that spot being touched. So tell us more about that, Laurie.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:06:08]:
Okay, so it is below your balls, actually. And, and the reason is because it’s the outside area where you can touch the prostate gland. So the prostate gland is a highly sexualized gland in the male body only it can be reached through the anus. And it can also be reached sort of pressure on the outside on the taint or underneath the balls or we technically call it the perineum space. Actually a man can feel that. So pressure right there. Stimulation. Maybe concurrently with stimulating his penis.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:06:43]:
That can feel really great.

George Faller [00:06:47]:
A lot of times this is getting very explicit.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:06:51]:
This is joking and he’s blushing.

George Faller [00:06:53]:
This is a PH PG show. We’re turning it X rated here. Now we gotta. This is why we do this podcast, to stretch ourselves. So all my firefighters listed.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:07:06]:
George is sweating it, sweating it out.

George Faller [00:07:10]:
If we’re gonna get specific though, again, I think a lot of times, you know, in our sessions, men will talk about, you know, if their partner grabs their balls or kind of then reaches underneath, right? That’s that area that’s kind of stretches the enjoyment and engagement. So you can.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:07:30]:
And speaking of grabbing the balls, right. Just stroking the sack, if it may be done gently, might be good, depending.

George Faller [00:07:38]:
On the size of your sack, right.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:07:43]:
If you’re not getting it hung up in different places and maybe you can.

George Faller [00:07:47]:
Get a two for one, you can get the sack and the taint at.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:07:51]:
The same time all in the same stroke. You’re like, that’s multi touching. So you’re kind of an Olympian participant in the sex. Right?

George Faller [00:08:01]:
Well listen, right, If. What do you have to lose to try it? If you’re go for gold, you’re going for goals, you’re doing the same old thing, you always do it. And all of a sudden you tell your partner about this podc and your partner reaches down, does something I normally they don’t do and see what happens. So listen to your own body, right? See if it works or not.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:08:21]:
It might be really good.

George Faller [00:08:22]:
We’re not here to judge.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:08:27]:
How about trying for multiple Orgasms.

George Faller [00:08:30]:
Yeah, that one.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:08:30]:
What do you think about that?

George Faller [00:08:31]:
That sounds tiring, Laurie.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:08:33]:
That sounds tiring.

George Faller [00:08:34]:
Sounds tiring.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:08:36]:
Maybe. Maybe young men are up for multiple orgasms.

George Faller [00:08:40]:
Well, I like it as a goal. If you have the idea that you’re one and done, you’re always going to be one and done. But you know, to expand in the frame saying, hey, wait a second, you know, maybe tonight’s my night. I got a little bit more energy. Or maybe take a nap and get up again in 30 minutes. Set the timer. Who knows?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:08:58]:
Set the timer. Set the timer, try again.

George Faller [00:09:02]:
What are you supposed to do for the whole 30 minutes? Or you’re waiting for him to get back up.

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Dr. Laurie Watson [00:12:13]:
Also, Kegels, basically, the Kegel exercise, right, is in men and women, and they. They can track the muscles of their pelvic floor. And it doesn’t necessarily increase the power of the orgasm. It does give you kind of a sense of a change about how you’re experiencing sensation. So you know the same muscle that you would use if you had to go to the bathroom and you didn’t want to and you’re holding back, that’s. That’s what you’re contracting, and that kind of makes you feel something different.

George Faller [00:12:37]:
There’s a lot of starting to see a lot of research on, you know, Kegel muscle used to in a lot of different areas. So you want to help us understand why that could help you if you have delayed ejaculation or premature ejaculation. You know, a lot of people are pointing the Kegel muscles, muscles as a way of helping with that. So obviously, it’s all connected. How does that make sense to our listeners, Laurie?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:13:03]:
Well, I think in this context, because we really want to increase their pleasure, right? It’s simply just having that sensation change. But certainly, I mean, I think understanding your body, knowing where that muscle is, being able to contract it, I do imagine that that’s part of how you hold back an ejaculation as well. And relaxing it, you know, could also be helpful. Actually, I don’t know if relaxing it helps at all with ejaculation? You’ll have to tell us, George. I have no idea on that one.

George Faller [00:13:38]:
Well, wouldn’t that lead to another thing on his list? The edging. Right. So if you’re able to kind of hold back and pull out and kind of calm down a little bit and then get back in there and like, so that. That kind of stretching this. This event out instead of just kind of letting it. Let it blow.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:14:00]:
Yes, yes. Edging is basically a way that builds the power of the orgasm. So you’re right, you know, kind of holding back. And I suppose a man does that with his Kegel muscles. I don’t really know. I’ve never asked that. That’s a great question. But, yeah, delaying orgasm and pulling out or, you know, stopping any kind of stimulation that you’re getting just so that you can relax a little bit is basically supposed to build this better platform so that when you do blow, as George so eloquently says, you know, it is better.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:14:33]:
A better, but a better blow. That has a different connotation, doesn’t it?

George Faller [00:14:37]:
The blow, the eruption. We got lots of. Lots of names for them. Laurie. Okay, this is again, I think this is a really super practical one. Right. And again, the mindset’s super important here because so many men have pressure and just want to have an orgasm and kind of have all the worries about it. So we’ve done a lot of episodes on reducing breaks, but this is really about the.

George Faller [00:15:03]:
Those gas pedals. What are things that actually can enhance your orgasm? And even when you go into sex thinking about, how do I make it better? It takes a lot of pressure off all the bad things that could happen because your brain is thinking about the positive. Right. And this edging is a great way of really saying, I want this orgasm to be better. So I’m going to kind of have fun with this. I know it’s going to happen, and I’m trying to hold it back, right? So let me do that’s. That’s super important.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:15:30]:
And I think it takes the pressure off. Men who think, you know, they got to stay hard the whole time. They, you know, they got to have an orgasm fast. They got to have an orgasm when suddenly the experience is on pleasure. Like, just come to the edge. Don’t come. Really, don’t come is such a great game to play because, you know, psychologically it’s like, don’t come. I’m always thinking I should try to get myself there.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:15:56]:
And when you’re saying, no, don’t get Yourself there. Just, you know, enjoy. Let it happen. Let yourself come to the edge. And if you come too close to the edge, then stop the stimulation. It’s like, it’s a total.

George Faller [00:16:09]:
Total mind shift.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:16:11]:
Thank you.

George Faller [00:16:12]:
Yes.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:16:13]:
You know what I was thinking?

George Faller [00:16:15]:
Yes, I do.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:16:17]:
And it’s.

George Faller [00:16:18]:
That is so again, I hope our listeners that to have more fun and play with it to say, like, I want to come and I’m stopping myself from coming. Most people don’t do that. So you can see how that. But I also think we need to communicate this with our partner because if you’re in a flow and it’s feeling really good and all of a sudden you’re saying, ah, let me pull this out. And like, that could be frustrating for a partner who doesn’t understand what you’re trying to do. So we would definitely. Lots of communication happening here.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:16:45]:
Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, we, we do definitely want that to happen. And. And again, just read some research. Right. The average time of intercourse is three minutes.

George Faller [00:16:58]:
Yep. Three to five minutes.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:16:59]:
So three to five minutes. And of course, we don’t always know that. Okay, let’s come back and talk about some more stuff. This is fun.

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George Faller [00:19:33]:
Laurie’s having too much fun here, people.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:19:35]:
I am having too much fun. This is so fun to talk about.

George Faller [00:19:38]:
See your co host squirm. You enjoy it, don’t you?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:19:41]:
I do enjoy it. Yeah. A little sadistic part of me.

George Faller [00:19:46]:
Hey. That I even could talk about taint as I take huge progress. So we’re. We’re moving this thing along.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:19:54]:
Okay, let’s do something really easy here. Eat an orgasm friendly diet. What do you think about that?

George Faller [00:20:00]:
That sounds boring because I don’t even know what it is. What’s it?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:20:03]:
Okay, it means things that you, George, don’t eat. Which is like greens, cabbage, bok choy. The reason we want to eat healthy greens is it actually it lowers our blood pressure, believe it or not, in a good way. And it’s that healthiness kind of stops us from maybe eating the things that would clog arteries and clog veins. And the problem with it, if our cholesterol raises it can problematically impact erections. I was about to say our. Our erections, but I was.

George Faller [00:20:40]:
Well, listen, I. I remember you saying that a couple years ago. Belly fat’s a bad side for that. So I. I’ve been doing my sit ups every night, but I. The diet’s still what I need to work on, right? You gotta.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:20:52]:
Yes.

George Faller [00:20:53]:
Less Big Macs, more these green stuff that just.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:20:56]:
Yeah, exactly. You know, and they’re. They’re sort of claiming here that different foods boost testosterone. I. I don’t see much research on that, but one of the things. Go ahead.

George Faller [00:21:09]:
I don’t think I realized as a guy, you know, just that this is a pump pressure system. So if you, you know, heart disease or cholesterol impacts that system, like, I just didn’t think a Big Mac is going to mess with my erection. Right. But that’s just what science is pretty clear about that, you know, especially as you start getting older, this stuff becomes more important if you want to have that kind of. When you’re young, your body makes up for all these kind of mistakes and sins that we make, but as you get older, it gets harder and harder to get away with that. So it’s good to have good information.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:21:45]:
Not actually harder and harder, but.

George Faller [00:21:46]:
Yes, yes, yes.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:21:49]:
Another thing, though, about testosterone is weightlifting actually does boost your testosterone. So if you weightlift, you can increase that. George. George is showing his bicep. If you weightlift, you can increase your Testosterone by like 100 points, which is dang good. You know, if you’re at the low end of the range, then your testosterone, if it’s in like the three 50s, going up to 450, kind of boosts you and gets you sort of more normal. And why do we care about testosterone? Because it increases the. The hardness of your erection and it also increases libido.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:22:33]:
So both of those things really important to the sexual experience, to making it good for you. You’re going to want multiple orgasms. You’re going to want to do it, and you’ll be able to, you know, have an erection that is more viable for intercourse.

George Faller [00:22:48]:
Yeah, this is. This is huge testosterone. I’m. How many people had taken. Lori loves huge, big and just solid, strong, firm. I mean, these words are just getting. Getting the most. But, you know, I.

George Faller [00:23:03]:
How many clients do I know that are taking testosterone? Right.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:23:07]:
Lots.

George Faller [00:23:07]:
Right. And that’s. It’s not chance they’re taking it because testosterone is gonna. And so you can do that naturally in what are ways. Working out is a great way. Eating right and, you know, taking pills, but really kind of changing Some of your body’s physiological kind of T numbers are super important. And I do think, you know, hey, listen, I don’t think it’s either. All so much of my work with men is trying to get them to be more in touch, listen to their emotions, express that stuff, because it leads to healthier relationships, you know, but there’s also something to be said about holding on to kind of some masculine Things that, you know, you.

George Faller [00:23:47]:
You work out, you go hunting. You’re doing things that keep you in touch with kind of that caveman inside of you, because that’s. That’s an important part of holding onto some of that tea, I think. What do you think about that, Laurie?

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:23:59]:
Right? I mean, doing things that are strenuous increases your being in touch with your body. That is a good thing, definitely, and I think that it’s important. Actually, men do say this, and it’s certainly not in this article, but they do say that their satisfaction with their orgasm is often really increased when they’re with somebody that they love.

George Faller [00:24:21]:
A little. Funny story. I was. We had a family kind of weekend retreat, and we. We were playing pickleball. It was my last game of pickleball, but my. My younger nephew was really talking a lot of trash, right? So me and my wife were playing him and his. His girlfriend, and the two men are talking trash back and forth, right? It gets competitive.

George Faller [00:24:46]:
And, you know, when it gets competitive, my wife. My wife plays worse. And I know that, and I shouldn’t say anything, but then I say something if we wind up getting into a fight, but afterwards, we’re trying to repair the fight. And I. And I said to her, I said, you know, most areas of my life, I have to be so regulated and so, like, Zen and kind of listen. And like, every once in a while, it’s nice to just let that go. And, like, I don’t want to have to worry about being the perfect. I want to be able to yell and get in someone’s face and talk trash.

George Faller [00:25:14]:
Like, it’s a fun outlet. Like, it lets me tap into my younger days where we did more of this. You’re playing football, and you’re, like, kind of doing those things. So pickleball is one of the only few ways I can do it. I want to lose that, Laurie. So I’m not apologizing anymore for my little angry outburst. I’m working on my. What does she call it? I got to work on my civility on the courts and follow civility on the etiquette and all those things.

George Faller [00:25:41]:
And I’m like, listen, there’s no one else here. This is just my own family in the backyard of some place. I’m not worried about that stuff. I just want to have some fun. But I think that’s what I’m trying to get to. Like, I. I think we got to tap into that every once in a while to. To.

George Faller [00:25:55]:
If that’s what you want to do. I mean, again, There’s a lot of freedom.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:25:58]:
You gotta tap into the caveman.

George Faller [00:26:00]:
Well, just a party of that. Yeah.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:26:02]:
The animal, grr part inside of you.

George Faller [00:26:05]:
We were made to be competitive. At times, it’s okay to tap into that energy that wants to kind of push and to fight and to kind of win. I mean, I think that’s an important part of us. And I think a lot of men have lost some of that.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:26:19]:
It’s a good part. It’s a good part. No, I think you’re right. It’s like our culture is. Feels a little anxious about this competitive, masculine drive. And I think men have gotten messages, too, that all of that is bad. You know, that they always need to be soft in the way they approach everything. And you’re just saying, I think something like, hey, being in touch with this actually makes you feel more sexual.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:26:45]:
Right? Is that what you were going, where you were driving at it?

George Faller [00:26:48]:
I was driving it, baby. Look at the Olympics. If you look at everybody getting ready to compete, they’re all. They’re getting themselves psyched up. They’re getting an anger kind of flow in. They, like. They’re. They’re trying to rally their body to engage in a physical act.

George Faller [00:27:04]:
So, again, this is, I think, part of enhancing some of that energy.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:27:10]:
Yeah, exactly. Okay, let’s just do a couple more of these. Focusing on the physical, like you’ve been saying, right? This is good. You know, letting yourself have a workout, letting yourself focus on your body when you’re in that competitive state, you know, that can be a good transition to, like, getting aroused.

George Faller [00:27:37]:
Yeah, this is. This is a big one Laurie helped me with years ago. Just being more in touch with your whole body. And instead of just a lot of men, we get penis focused. Like, we’re so focused on that sensation, we kind of check out from the rest of our body. Right. But when you can allow yourself to feel those heels on the bed and what does it feel like with your shoulders and kind of rub it against the sheets and thinking about the breath that you’re taking in and what it is you’re smelling and, you know, what shapes you’re seeing, like those. All the senses.

George Faller [00:28:06]:
As we start to really bring more of that into the scene, we just have higher levels of engagement. So I think that’s another really important one. Laurie.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:28:15]:
I think so too. And I. I think, you know, any of us, if we’re focused on our performance, like, if you’re focused on your penis and just what your penis is supposed to do and what your penis is supposed to Feel you. You’ve kind of lost touch with your partner. You’ve lost touch with your whole body. And we know that orgasms can be enhanced when you think about sort of how you can move it throughout your body, not just in your penis. And this is another point. Like in tantric sex, people get in touch with their breath.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:28:48]:
Maybe they try to thrust according to their breath. So in and out, literally, you know, as they breathe. And it.

George Faller [00:29:00]:
It depends how slow you’re going, Laurie, that’s pretty fast.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:29:05]:
Toys might run out of breath, what.

George Faller [00:29:08]:
They call out in yogurt. That fast breath or something.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:29:12]:
That fast breath. Yeah. But this. This can also help, right? It can. It can expand the experience beyond just your penis into your whole body so that it can make your climax better.

George Faller [00:29:24]:
I think a lot of men, if you focus on performance and what’s going to happen? Am I going to orgasm? Am I going to orgasm too fast? Whatever your brain is thinking about, and you’re so focused on your penis, you’re actually not in the present moment because you’re focusing on the next step. Right. And that’s the cool part about the body. If you can just take that breath and feel yourself kind of sink into the bed, like that is radically being in a present moment. Right. We know great lovers are relaxed, and being in your body is such a critical part in the breathing towards being relaxed, and it makes for a better orgasm.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:30:00]:
Makes for a better orgasm. Well, I think we’ve offered quite a bit of help to men. I’m so proud of you, George. You just like, say it again. Say taint just one more time for us.

George Faller [00:30:12]:
You gotta hit that taint, baby.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:30:17]:
Okay, thanks for listening.

George Faller [00:30:19]:
Keep it hot, y’all.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:30:20]:
So some of you are interested in our work. We want to tell you where we are, what we’re doing. First thing is our couples retreat coming up in October. Right, George?

George Faller [00:30:29]:
October 4th. Yes. Online. This is a chance to just spend a little time with your partner. We guarantee you’re going to kind of come out of that training with more things to talk about sexually. Yep.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:30:41]:
And we’ve got an early bird special right now, so take us up on it and join us for a day of talking about sex.

George Faller [00:30:47]:
And for therapists, we have two trainings coming up. We have one in September, 18 to 20 in Las Vegas, where Lori and I will just be kind of brainstorming and really pushing the leading edges of kind of EFT and the sexual cycle. We’re excited about that. And then in January 23rd to 25th, we’re coming to Nashville in person to do three days of really kind of breaking down this process. And again, I think this should be mandatory for all therapists to just kind of have more confidence in knowing what to do and work with the sexual cycle.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:31:20]:
Yeah, we’ve already had lots of signups for that. By the way, George, people are also taking advantage of that early bird special. You know, we want supervisors to come. We’re giving half off to the supervisors. So please join us so that we can kind of get on the same page and understand and develop eft further. There’s going to be two days of lecture and exercises and then a day maybe with a live and, you know, working on your tapes and you’re stuck places. And we’re gonna go down to the honky tonk and have dinner together and have some fun.

George Faller [00:31:54]:
Have some fun.

Dr. Laurie Watson [00:31:55]:
Have some fun. Yeehaw.

George Faller [00:31:56]:
Yeehaw. And for all you listeners, again, if you have a community and you want Laura and I to come out and give a specialized training on sex, and again, I think this is so important for anybody seeing couples, then, you know, reach out to us and let’s continue to spread this message. Yeehaw. Call in your questions to the foreplay question. Voicemail. Dial 833 My4Play. That’s 833 My The Number 4Play. And we’ll use the questions for our mailbag episodes.

Closing Announcer [00:32:26]:
All content is for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for therapy by a licensed clinician or as medical advice from a doctor. This podcast is copyrighted by foreplay media.

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