You are currently viewing Episode 470: “365 Connecting Questions for Couples”

Episode 470: “365 Connecting Questions for Couples”

In today’s episode, Laurie and George are joined by Casey and Meygan Caston, founders of Marriage 365. Marriage 365 provides a comprehensive approach to help couples improve connection in their daily lives through books, coaching and courses. Motivated by the near destruction and repair of their own marriage, Casey and Meygan made it their mission to share the tools that helped them far and wide.

You won’t want to miss this engaging conversation between these relationship experts! Listen how they moved from a marriage full of assumptions to creating a framework for connection. Visit www.marriage365.com to learn more about Casey and Meygan and make sure to rate and review this episode wherever you stream our pod. Keep it hot y’all!

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Transcript

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Laurie Watson [00:01:50]:
All we have as a special treat end of our year Casey and Megan from Marriage365 to join us. They have a new book and we are so excited to have them as guests. We’ve been chit chatting together and enjoying talking about sex toys and Thanksgiving and our holidays and we’ve been having so much fun but we need to get down to business and talk about what they are bringing to our world. So thank you for being with us.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:02:15]:
Thank you for having us here. We’re so excited.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:02:17]:
Yeah.

Laurie Watson [00:02:20]:
Welcome to Foreplay sex therapy. I’m Dr. Lori Watson, your sex therapist.

George Faller [00:02:25]:
And I’m George Fowler, your couples therapist.

Laurie Watson [00:02:28]:
We are here to Talk about sex.

George Faller [00:02:30]:
Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body, their mind, and their hearts.

Laurie Watson [00:02:37]:
And we have a little bit of fun doing it right.

George Faller [00:02:39]:
G. Listen and let’s change some relationships.

Laurie Watson [00:02:43]:
Okay. Tell us the name of your podcast first.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:02:46]:
Well, we have a podcast inside of our membership. It’s a mobile app. If you download Marriage365, you can listen to our podcast. We do weekly downloads as well as we have videos and educational content to help couples find connection with better tools. We need tools. Tools kind of provide a framework for us to understand each other.

Laurie Watson [00:03:07]:
Yes.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:03:07]:
Tools provide even a pathway and a map really, for us to know how to connect with each other. And I think if we leave a lot to assumptions like, you should just know how to love me. You should just know how to communicate. You should just know how to apologize. That could leave a lot of couples feeling like there’s. It’s. We’re missing the mark.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:03:31]:
Yeah, that was us. We got married. All the assumptions were there. We had a lot of expectations of one another, thinking that our love was enough, not having any tools. And between both sets of our parents, there’s 12 marriages. So we didn’t have any kind of healthy role model, no conversations of what healthy sex look like or communication. And it just came crashing down. By year three, I mean, we.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:03:55]:
We destroyed our marriage in three years. Only three years.

Laurie Watson [00:03:57]:
It was pretty quick. It’s good that you lasted three years. A lot of people blow it up in a year.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:04:02]:
You think that’s pretty good. See, we feel like that was so. That happened so quickly. But yeah, I mean, it just got so bad to where. Yeah, we were. We had grown so much deep seated resentment towards one another that we both looked at each other going like, we made the biggest mistake of our lives.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:04:19]:
And there was a lot of shame around that too. Like, we didn’t really.

Laurie Watson [00:04:23]:
We.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:04:24]:
You don’t want to raise your hand and go, hey, I know we just did. You guys just came to our wedding. But we’re already doing really bad. Like, that’s. That felt very embarrassing for us. So when I thought about, like, when we started marriage365, like, the Avatar that we use is the hopeless and hapless couple Casey and Megan of 2003.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:04:45]:
Yeah, what do we need in that season?

Laurie Watson [00:04:47]:
That’s who you’re speaking to. That. That’s the people that you identify with that you were before you learned how to be connected. Right.

George Faller [00:04:56]:
Just to normalize that. I mean, that is pretty typical when you’re in chronic States of disconnection. Right. You either resentful of your partner because your needs are not being met, or the resentment turns inward. That’s shame. Right? That’s. How the hell are we screwing this up? It’s only two ways of figuring out being stuck in this place. My partner sucks or I suck.

George Faller [00:05:16]:
Right. And we bounce back and forth between the two.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:05:18]:
Yes. And Casey is a fighter, and I’m a fighter. So I was the pursuer that. Let’s figure this out. And. And I would. Course, I felt like I wasn’t heard, so I just got louder and louder and louder and rage more. And he would often retreat.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:05:31]:
I mean, he would rage too. You would yell as well. But eventually he would just shut down.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:05:35]:
Just speaking to that shame, George, I think one of the reasons and the purpose behind Marriage365 as a community, you know, whether it’s Instagram socials or. Or just within our app, is that we’re tearing down that wall of shame. Like, and I. And I think some. Sometimes that means that Megan and I have to go first. We have to share our vulnerabilities. And once we share our story, I think a lot of other people will. They.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:05:59]:
I mean, we’ve heard it. They. I’m so glad I’m not the only one that’s feeling this way, because that’s. That’s a hard place to be, is to be stuck, resentful and alone and isolated.

George Faller [00:06:12]:
You both do a great job of that. I was telling Lori early, I don’t watch a lot of social media, but some of your videos pop up, and it’s like a reality tv. It’s like in your house and you’re going out of the bathroom or going to the kitchen sink and, like, having these conversations. And we know the antidote to shame is connection. Right. It’s secrecy that keeps it strong. That you’re willing to do this publicly is such a gift to so many, you know, thousands and thousands of couples who. Who are watching.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:06:37]:
So can we talk about tool?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:06:39]:
Let’s.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:06:40]:
Should we talk about our tools?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:06:41]:
Talk about.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:06:42]:
Not that I’m a tool or I have tools in the bedroom.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:06:45]:
Well, really, he’s just a piece of meat.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:06:47]:
Oh, yeah. That’s why I keep telling Megan, my eyes are up here, baby. Yeah, I just. I think that tools are really important for couples to have something to work with.

Laurie Watson [00:06:59]:
Yeah.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:07:00]:
I. I think our cultural moment is that we have so many assumptions or we have these, like, expectations that it shall just work out. Why should I talk about something like it shouldn’t Just become natural to us about sex.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:07:13]:
I mean, we went into marriage thinking, oh, my gosh, we should never have to talk about it because it should just be organic and natural, and if we’re sexually compatible, it’ll just work. Oh, what a joke. We were.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:07:24]:
Yeah.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:07:24]:
Yeah.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:07:25]:
Hmm.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:07:26]:
What did you.

Laurie Watson [00:07:26]:
What did you find with sex that changed? Like, how did you begin to talk about it? How did you know to do that?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:07:34]:
Well, one big difference in our own relationship was that I grew up knowing about sex and anatomy and had really healthy conversations with mentors in my life. So I feel like I had a lot more. I would say, like, an open mind or just more knowledge and education around it. And then Casey grew up in a home where it was just highly religious and conservative, and no one was allowed to ask questions. No one was allowed to talk about it. And that really became one of our first and largest issues.

George Faller [00:08:08]:
Are you the sexual pursuer?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:08:11]:
No, he is.

George Faller [00:08:12]:
Okay.

Laurie Watson [00:08:12]:
He is.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:08:14]:
Yeah.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:08:14]:
But it was.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:08:15]:
But you had more education. You had more education, but I had more education. And also a little interesting note about our sex life. I mean, since we just lay it all out there. You guys ready?

Laurie Watson [00:08:24]:
We’re ready. Lay it on us.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:08:26]:
Casey was a virgin when we got married.

Laurie Watson [00:08:28]:
Yeah.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:08:29]:
I was not.

Laurie Watson [00:08:29]:
Yeah.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:08:30]:
So I also knew and had experienced what sex was like, and I enjoyed it, and I knew what I enjoyed, and he had never had it before, and. And I respected that. So we had never had any. Any kind of sexual activity when we were dating or engaged until our honeymoon night.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:08:46]:
Well, the scripting was that, you know, if you save yourself for marriage, then God is going to bless your marriage. That was the scripting that was given.

Laurie Watson [00:08:54]:
And sex is going to be off the charts because you have done this.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:08:58]:
Because you waited and you had self control. Yeah.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:09:00]:
So there’s a. There was a lot of questioning that happened by year three of, like, how did we get to such a bad place if I had been so obedient.

Laurie Watson [00:09:07]:
You know, kind of, you know, I want to just say something about that because I talked. I live in the south, and there’s a lot of young couples that come through my clinic at Awakenings, and they, you know, say the same sort of thing. It’s like, we saved ourselves for marriage and sexes. We don’t even know what the big deal is. You know, they. They don’t have enough education to make it good. And they often, you know, question their faith because it’s like, okay, I obeyed the rules. God was supposed to bless me and have this fabulous experience.

Laurie Watson [00:09:39]:
And now it’s not happening. And they can be so disappointed, and it really can be jeopardizing to what they feel inside about God. And so. Okay, so how did you get out of that? How did you say, okay, maybe this. Maybe we need some more education. Maybe we need to talk to each other. What spurred you to do that?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:09:57]:
Okay, so while we destroyed our marriage in three years, and then we started repairing it and healing it, and that’s a whole other side story. But it wasn’t until year seven that our sex life actually improved. And it started with, okay, you guys might laugh at this, but I went to one of those sex toy parties. Yeah. You know, like, just the ladies getting together was a bunch of moms. And, you know, I was introduced to a vibrator for the first time. Like, oh. And I bought one, and it was like, oh, let’s.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:10:24]:
Let’s do this. And so I remember coming home and we were just kind of joking about it. And again, we were repairing our marriage. You know, we tell people it took us three years to destroy it. It took us about four to five years to repair it. It takes time. Right. It does not happen overnight.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:10:38]:
It is slow and steady wins the race in marriage. But we were. We were having higher trust levels. And so I brought it up and I was like, hey, what do you think about this?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:10:47]:
Yeah.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:10:48]:
Do you remember your response?

Casey from Marriage365 [00:10:50]:
I was caught off guard. I thought I was being replaced, and it was. It was uncomfortable for me.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:10:56]:
Yeah, right.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:10:56]:
Maybe there should be sex toys for guys partying.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:10:59]:
Well, there are probably not a lot of. Not a lot of toys at that party. So we were trying to talk about.

Laurie Watson [00:11:07]:
Okay, Casey, I want to ask you a really personal question. When you thought about the vibrator, were you thinking it was going to replace your penis? And that was why it was going to be bigger, better.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:11:18]:
Somehow or another, I thought, oh, great, so Megan’s just going to enter into the world of masturbation. Like, she’s just going to be doing her own thing, and that’s it. I don’t know if I was feeling replaced, but as, like, at certain point, am I going to be as desired as I. As I. As this toy will be.

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Laurie Watson [00:12:52]:
Foreplay. This episode is brought to you by. Whoops. I’ve got a box of Cheez it Crackers staring at me and I just wanted that irresistible cheesy crunch.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:13:01]:
Sorry, that was a total snackcident. Mmm.

Laurie Watson [00:13:05]:
What was I supposed to be talking about? So salty. So crunchy.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:13:09]:
So cheesy. Whoops.

Laurie Watson [00:13:12]:
Lost my train of thought. I’ve heard of brain freeze, but brain cheese? Mm.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:13:17]:
I’ll just have one more cheesy cracker.

Laurie Watson [00:13:19]:
And then I’ll get back to it.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:13:24]:
Yeah, I think, I think so many men. Because there’s so much pressure to give your partner an orgasm during intercourse because we really don’t know anatomy and how it works. Like you become threatened by a vibrator because you think it’s replacing what you’re doing when it has nothing to do with that. I mean, that’s the wild part. This is like a public service announcement that, you know, what’s a band recognized. This actually brings more engagement from your partner to have clearer stimulation. It’s just another way of doing it. It makes intercourse better for you.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:13:51]:
I mean, it really changes the game.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:13:54]:
So the biggest aha and when it comes to sex, this is like the biggest aha for me was I thought going into marriage, when we were having intercourse, what I was feeling must be what Megan is feeling. And I think that that is one of the biggest misnomers out there that I think most guys feel like, well, we’re having intercourse. She must be feeling that same excitement.

Laurie Watson [00:14:20]:
Yeah. It’s like hand in glove, right? What your penis is feeling inside the vagina is what her vagina is feeling.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:14:26]:
Yeah, that’s what he assumed first.

Laurie Watson [00:14:28]:
But actually the woman has the most sensation in her clitoris, not her vagina.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:14:32]:
Yes.

Laurie Watson [00:14:33]:
Although there can be some good sense.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:14:35]:
Think about every movie when they’re doing intercourse. She’s moaning and groaning, all the porn flicks or whatever, the same kind of experiences being, like, propagated.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:14:47]:
Yep.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:14:48]:
So that I think in the mind of every guy out there, they just think that intercourse is the. The ultimate female sexual expression. And that was so wrong.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:15:00]:
So it was a vibrator and a sex toy party that ended up opening the door to many dozens and dozens of conversations over the course of the next couple of years. Awesome. And it just happened to be where the economy was tanking. It was like 2008, 2009 time. And so Casey had lost his job and we had a lot more time when we.

Laurie Watson [00:15:22]:
It’s.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:15:23]:
It’s true, you guys. We had a lot more time to just like practice, floor, practice, have sex. I taught him about the clitoris. Like, I was like, this is it. This is. This is my mini penis. You know, like, this is where you can actually please me. And so I think there was a bit of a coaching mindset.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:15:41]:
And he’s like, hey, this is really interesting. I didn’t know any of this.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:15:45]:
Two important things have to happen there. Right. You have to be willing to coach and he has to be willing to listen. Right. Either one of them don’t happen and this thing don’t work.

Laurie Watson [00:15:53]:
Yeah. Well, let’s come back after our break and talk some more. We want to hear about the rest of the tools that you bring to the world. Your new book, so exciting.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:16:05]:
Y’.

Laurie Watson [00:16:06]:
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Laurie Watson [00:18:23]:
What is this?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:18:24]:
Well, funny enough, we’re talking about all these amazing conversations around sex.

Laurie Watson [00:18:28]:
And.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:18:28]:
And I remember there was a season when we had. Our kids were really little, and Casey would come home, babe. And do you remember the questions you would ask me every single day?

Casey from Marriage365 [00:18:36]:
It was very easy. How was your day? And wrap it up quick. What’s for dinner? Because I’m hungry. And can we have sex?

Laurie Watson [00:18:44]:
And see George’s great big smile? Because that is exactly what he does.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:18:47]:
It’s not that complicated.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:18:48]:
Right?

Laurie Watson [00:18:50]:
And how is the day he really wants it to come in? Bullet points. Correct long explanations.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:18:55]:
Give me the bullet points.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:18:56]:
It’s a completely correct thing to ask, but I really want too much information.

Laurie Watson [00:19:00]:
Should.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:19:00]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m doing the polite thing. I haven’t seen you all day. And I just remember being like. We used to have these. These incredible, meaningful, deeper conversations. Now I’m not looking for that every night. Sometimes I’m tired, too, but I got really sick of him.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:19:15]:
Asking the same questions. And so he goes, I wish that we had some kind of tool. Here we go again. And this was before we were even really doing marriage stuff.

Laurie Watson [00:19:25]:
We’re.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:19:26]:
We could have, like, questions kind of ready to go. Because he goes, babe, I’m after nine to five, I’m tired. I can’t think of these amazing questions. And I was like, well, you know what? You’re right. Like, after I’m home with the kids all day and I’m tired, I can’t think of these questions. And so we kind of started just creating what we call connecting questions for our own marriage. Yeah.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:19:45]:
Yeah. And these questions were really geared for all different seasons of relationships. So, like, we were thinking about, if someone’s dating, they need to have questions that can really help them evaluate their partner. If they’re engaged, they need to have questions that are preparing them for the future. If they’re newlyweds, it’s like the exploring and continuing that exploration. If they’re hurting, like, even hurting, because I remember when Megan and I, we were done with our screaming matches, I still, like, with the pain of abandonment. I still didn’t want to lose her, even though I exploded in anger at her. So there was a moment of, like, I wish I could find something, like, can we talk about something other than the pain that allows us to say, like, we’re still in it.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:20:35]:
We’re still in the fight. And that. That, to me, was one of the greatest, like, tools that I wish I had.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:20:42]:
Well, give us an example of what that question would sound like.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:20:44]:
Yeah.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:20:45]:
After you’ve raged.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:20:47]:
One of the. One of our favorite questions is, like, describe your bedroom as a teenager. That’s a great opener.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:20:53]:
It doesn’t trigger anybody. Yeah.

Laurie Watson [00:20:55]:
Okay, let’s do that. Let’s do that. All of us, real quick. Okay. What was your bedroom like, Casey?

Casey from Marriage365 [00:21:01]:
Oh, mine. So I was an aviation nut, and I had pictures of military aircraft plastered all over my walls. And then I built those model airplanes, and then I hung them with fishing wire on. On my ceiling in, like, these, like, they’re, like, coming at you and flying at you. So when you walk into my room, it looked like an air show.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:21:25]:
What kind of planes you have?

Laurie Watson [00:21:26]:
Oh, there we go. The conversation begins.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:21:30]:
Yeah, I had a 10 Warthog, an F15 fighter, and an SR71 Blackbird. I still remember him to this day.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:21:37]:
And, you know, when he shared that with me, it doesn’t surprise me, because every year he goes to the air show.

Laurie Watson [00:21:42]:
Yeah. Cool.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:21:43]:
So it was like, it continued that love of flying.

Laurie Watson [00:21:46]:
I. I just want you to know, Casey, when you were a teenager, I was working on the stealth bomber. Like, that’s our age difference. And. And I know I seem like, you know, sort of a. A sex therapist, different thing. But actually I have this engineering brain, and that’s what I was doing.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:22:01]:
What?

Laurie Watson [00:22:02]:
Yeah.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:22:02]:
Oh, wow.

Laurie Watson [00:22:03]:
I was classified or software. It was classified. It was the B2. Yeah, it was. It was a black box. Yeah. So I’m with you in terms of aviation. I was all.

Laurie Watson [00:22:14]:
All about it.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:22:15]:
That’s so cool. So do you see what we just unlocked?

Laurie Watson [00:22:19]:
Right? This huge conversation.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:22:21]:
Simple question.

Laurie Watson [00:22:22]:
Simple question.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:22:24]:
It’s amazing.

Laurie Watson [00:22:24]:
And then we get to know each other. I love it. This is beautiful. Okay, give us one more question.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:22:29]:
Oh, yeah, you go for it.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:22:31]:
I think a good question that’s in the book is, do you consider yourself an internal or external processor? Do you like to verbally process why or why not? Have you always been like that? I don’t think that’s the eloquent version of it, but this was really eye opening for us in our relationship because Casey is a complete verbal processor and he comes very unprocessed to me. And so I would take his words as is, where I’m more internal. I need more time to think about it. I usually, like, journal about it. I go on a walk with my dog and think about it. So by the time I go to Casey, I’ve already processed through my thoughts and feelings. But that’s a huge one. Just to know about yourself, your friends, your family, your kids.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:23:12]:
Well, let me talk about. That’s bringing out an awareness not only of yourself, but of your spouse as well. And what we kind of see, we make the connection between building awareness and actually growing in confidence. Because confidence is about trusting in oneself. We would always say, like, if you. You can’t trust yourself if you don’t know yourself. Right. So confidence is that process of discovery of ra again, raising this awareness of each other.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:23:44]:
But I don’t think a lot of couples know how to ask that question. Like, in the midst of my pain, I’m not going to go, you know what? Let’s just stop. Talk to me about your bedroom or, you know, tell me about your wildest dreams or tell me about your goals.

Laurie Watson [00:23:57]:
In life, your sexual fantasies.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:23:59]:
There you go. Because if you said, if you asked, what are some of your sexual fantasies? I think a lot of couples, unprompted, if you just. Just out of the blue said that, I think a lot of spouses go, what’s the Question behind the question.

Laurie Watson [00:24:15]:
Right.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:24:15]:
What’s the motivation behind that? And then they start evaluating and not really receiving that as a question.

Laurie Watson [00:24:21]:
Yeah. They can be defensive. Like, you’re. You’re wanting to get into my brain about something that I think is private or why are you saying this? You got an agenda so that the questions that you guys have come up with, there’s no agenda. Right. They can just read them. It’s sort of a neutral place where they can begin these great conversations like we just had. Awesome.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:24:42]:
Yeah, it’s a. It’s a question a day for an entire year. We ended up self publishing this book back in 2018, and we sold over a hundred thousand copies.

Laurie Watson [00:24:50]:
This is a proven record, y’. All. This is fantastic.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:24:54]:
Oh, 100%.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:24:55]:
Yeah. So Penguin Random House came to us. Thank you. This last year. And said, we want to buy it, and we want it to be, you know, in the millions.

Laurie Watson [00:25:01]:
Let’s.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:25:01]:
Let’s get this into the hands of every couple because they see the value that this book brings, the tool. And the other thing that I will say is I think there’s a reason why we’ve sold. So many men love this book because it’s not a book about marriage. It’s a book for marriage. They just have to open the book and read a question. Like you said, George, pretty simple, right?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:25:22]:
Pretty simple.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:25:23]:
And if you don’t like the question, you skip it and go to a different question. You know, it’s not that complicated. And we’re always.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:25:29]:
We’re always trying to help couples figure out a question, that the intent is beautiful, but the impact can be something totally different. Right. So we’re trying to gauge does that lead to an invitation or does it feel like an accusation? Right. And that’s going to lead in two totally different places. So I was laughing as you were telling your different ways of internal, external process. And I think I do some of both. But, like, if I’m externally putting something out there to my wife, like, I’m expecting her to understand, even though I haven’t really clearly articulated my point. Like, I want her to be a mind reader.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:26:02]:
And what’s worse, when she doesn’t do it, I get annoyed at her for not being able to understand that. And, like, it blows her by because I’m not clear at all. I’m like, how could you not understand what. Like, this is the stuff. These emotions are so fast.

Laurie Watson [00:26:14]:
And I’ve never experienced that with George. I’ve never experienced that with George. My experience of George is I bring some. Something to him, and he says no. But then he, like, processes it internally, I think, you know, for a while. And then he’ll come back and go, well, I’ve been thinking about what you said, and maybe. Maybe we could do that.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:26:33]:
Or, you know, your. Your. Your first initial reaction is often just shut it down. Just know.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:26:38]:
Yeah, that’s every. A lot of men are that way. It’s like when you do you say, like, did. Were you snoring? No, I wasn’t snoring. I.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:26:45]:
Did you like that?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:26:45]:
No, it’s just a quick response. And we’re trained at the earliest age that to say so.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:26:49]:
Well, since. Since we’re talking about sex, this podcast is all about increasing sexual awareness.

Laurie Watson [00:26:56]:
Before we do the sex thing, where do people find your book? Because it’s such a great Christmas gift to each other. So is it on Amazon? Can we find it on Amazon?

Megan from Marriage365 [00:27:05]:
It’s on Amazon. Just type in365 connecting questions for Couples. It’ll pop right up.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:27:10]:
Yeah, I mean, anywhere you buy books, anywhere.

Laurie Watson [00:27:13]:
We will link you in this episode to this 365 connecting questions for Couples on Amazon. So y’, all, please. Because it’s released, right? It is now released. What. What was the release date? What’s the public.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:27:24]:
December 3rd, 2024.

Laurie Watson [00:27:26]:
Yep. Awesome. Woohoo. Okay. Okay, back to sex. Casey, last thing.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:27:32]:
I want to say that one of the things that I learned by listening to foreplay sex radio has been, as your largest sex organ is not your genitals, it is inside your brain. And one of the things that we have heard from so many couples is that this book actually produces a better sex life. Because as couples start building that emotional intimacy, then the physical intimacy is an outcome of that. It’s like an expression of their levels of emotional intimacy. And there’s so many couples that want that. They want a great sex life and they want to know each other. They just don’t have that tool. They don’t have the roadmap.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:28:21]:
So this book becomes kind of that opportunity for us to get to know each other. Especially if you’ve been married and you’re in the midst of raising kids. It’s busy. Even Casey and Megan, they’re talking the third person. If you found us on a date night, chances are you will see our book close within arm’s reach. Because even though we wrote these questions in a moment of clarity throughout the week, that clarity is gone. When we’re tired of running around and chasing the kids or taxing them around and making meals and thinking about work. We needed a prompt that kept us close together.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:29:01]:
And I would say bonus tips for any husband listening. There’s nothing sexier than a man who initiates emotional connection. And I think for a lot of women, they’re longing for their husband to ask questions like this.

Laurie Watson [00:29:14]:
Yeah. There are many memorable moments during the.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:29:17]:
Holidays, and those memorable moments are even.

Laurie Watson [00:29:19]:
Better when they’re centered around a honey baked ham.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:29:22]:
Whether that looks like sneaking a slice of our signature bone in half ham.

Laurie Watson [00:29:25]:
With that irresistible, sweet, crunchy glaze before.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:29:28]:
You serve it to guests. Hosting family and friends for the first.

Laurie Watson [00:29:30]:
Time and wowing them with our new.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:29:32]:
Tender and juicy prime rib. Or having a solo midnight snack of double cheddar Mac and cheese and green bean casserole.

Laurie Watson [00:29:38]:
There’s no wrong way to holiday with.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:29:39]:
The people you love most, because every.

Laurie Watson [00:29:41]:
Bite is a celebration with the honey baked ham company. The first Volvo car arrived in the US in 1955. Ever since, we’ve helped lead the way in safety innovations, making summer memories safer for generations. Celebrate 70 years with us. Visit your local Volvo retailer for the summer safely bonus event.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:30:00]:
And again, then they’re more willing to go into the bedroom.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:30:03]:
Yeah.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:30:04]:
And have fun.

Laurie Watson [00:30:04]:
And you guys are talking about the sort of a more traditional heterosexual pattern. Right. Where he is the sexual pursuer, but maybe the emotional withdrawer, and she is this emotional pursuer, but more of the sexual withdraw. And this works. This builds emotional connection. I love your questions. I can see how powerful they are just on that tiny little snippet that we just did. So really fun.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:30:28]:
And I love the. Your example, like, the sex turns around with the vibrator story, but it’s actually three years before that that you were grinding through these emotional conversations. That really was the key to the vibrator working. So I think that order really matters. Right. When we start to recognize the importance of the emotional connection that create the, you know, the foundation for the sex to really take off and have fun. It’s. It’s so important.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:30:51]:
It’s. What a great story.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:30:52]:
Oh, thank you. Yep. Couples who talk about sex have great sex. Well, hopefully, that’s the goal.

Laurie Watson [00:30:57]:
Yes. Yes. Thank you, guys for being with us. And Merry Christmas to you. Happy holidays to everybody. Thanks for listening.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:31:06]:
Keep it hot, y’.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:31:07]:
All.

Laurie Watson [00:31:08]:
So some of you are interested in our work. We want to tell you where we.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:31:11]:
Are, what we’re doing in January 23rd to 25th. We’re coming to Nashville in person to do three days of really kind of breaking down this process. And again, I think this should be mandatory for all therapists to just kind of have more confidence in knowing what to do and work with the sexual cycle.

Laurie Watson [00:31:28]:
Yeah, we’ve already had lots of signups for that. By the way, George, people are also taking advantage of that early bird special. You know, we want supervisors to come. We’re giving half off to the supervisors. So please join us so that we can kind of get on the same page and understand and develop eft further. There’s going to be two days of lecture and exercises and then a day maybe with a live and you know, working on your tapes and your stuck places and we’re going to go down to the honky tonk and have dinner together and have some fun.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:32:02]:
Have some fun.

Laurie Watson [00:32:03]:
Have some fun. Yee haw.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:32:04]:
Yee haw.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:32:05]:
And for all you listeners, again, if you have a community and you want Laura and I to come out and give a specialized training on sex, and again, I think this is so important for anybody seeing couples, then, you know, reach out to us and let’s continue to spread this message. Yeehaw.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:32:23]:
Call in your questions to the four play question.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:32:25]:
Voicemail.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:32:26]:
Dial 833-MY-4 PLAY. That’s 833-MY-THE- NUMBER-OUR PLAY. And we’ll use the questions for our mailbag episodes.

Megan from Marriage365 [00:32:34]:
All content is for entertainment purposes purposes.

Casey from Marriage365 [00:32:36]:
Only and should not be considered as a substitute for therapy by a licensed clinician or as medical advice from a doctor. This podcast is copyrighted by Foreplay Media.

Laurie Watson [00:32:45]:
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